Monday, May 9, 2011

What Happened?

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." Elie Wiesel

To say that my life can be best described by the word chaos these last few months is not only true but an understatement. The main question that I've heard over and over is, "What happened to you?"

For those of you who don't know, I'm no longer in full-time ministry because I had an affair. Most people cannot believe and are shocked when they attach the word "affair" to my name.

Since the affair came to light in March, I've experienced what is know as a "rock-bottom" experience.

My "rock-bottom" experience consisted of the following: having my wife change the locks on the doors of the house, as well as transferring all of our money to another account so I could not access it, being out of my house for 30 days, losing the trust and respect of my wife and kids, friends questioning the validity of our friendship, a ministry I love letting me know they believe its best they sever ties with me, and much more. Please know this statement is not for the purpose of sympathy, because there is no one less deserving, but just to explain how much it took to wake me up from my own selfish desires.

So, back to the original question of, "What Happened?" The answer to that question can be found in Revelation 2:4. The problem with the Church in Ephesus was that they lost their first love. Some thirty years earlier this Church was described as a Church with an incorruptible love.

Just like the Church in Ephesus, I also left my first love. The word "left" in the Greek means: to send away, to divorce, to disregard. I was no longer in love with God. I sent Him away, disregarded Him, and divorced Him to be in a relationship with MYSELF. I loved me more than I loved God. I wanted to be King of my life.

The Israelites begged Samuel for a King so they could be like the other nations. As a result of them getting a King they endured many unnecessary hardships in their lives. Like the Israelites, I suffered many hardships because of my selfish desires and wants to be King.

Like the Church in Ephesus I once had a love that could be described as "incorruptible" but my selfish desire to be King corrupted my love for God. And to be honest with you being King for a day is not all it's cracked up to be.

My next several blog entries will look at the life of "King" Dustin and what happened to his kingdom of one.

May the Lord Bless you and keep you.

7 comments:

  1. Thank you for your honesty. We love you.

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  2. This is a family matter and should not be shared on the internet.

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  3. Thats what we were born to do as humans. Make judgemental mistakes in the name of our false kingdoms. We all do it...ALL.
    Its what we do thereafter that defines our legacy. It is from there that wrongs are righted. Both internally and on those we influence.

    Hope you're doing well Dustin. Honesty & Humility is sometimes all we leave ourselves with. But it can fuel a mighty fire when merged with passion.

    A friend in Missouri...

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  4. Remorse and honesty are a big player in forgiveness from God for the mistakes that are made. Actions do speak louder than words.

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  6. Anonymous #1 -- read your Bible. It appears God played out a lot of "private" family matters in scriptures from which the rest of us can learn and grow.

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